


To be "alive"

by Mary_0103



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: If JUMP are idol & also robot, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:49:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27632987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_0103/pseuds/Mary_0103
Summary: Nakajima finds Okamoto on the edge of vanishing.All they need to keep their existence is having sufficient love.
Relationships: Nakajima Yuto/Okamoto Keito
Kudos: 2





	To be "alive"

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: JUMP as idol are kind of robots and they will disappear (“die” in terms of human being) if they have insufficient love.  
> Warning --> OOC & Not logical ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

Nakajima Yuto notices something from the first time for a while that he reaches Okamoto Keito.

He grabs the hands in front of him, the boy’s eyes are filling with liquid seems like pure salted water, representing the “tears” of actual human. And those hands being grabbed are ice cold.

Like grabbing a stainless-steel bottle, like touching a robot, even both of them are robots.

He holds Okamoto’s hands tighter, like it is a useful move to get rid of the absurd coldness that doesn’t exist much.

——

New robots like them can have temperature imitating human body temperature, they also have a pulse as it can be felt by touching hands or chest; however, the actual performances are up to every unique robot.

Nakajima has the average temperature of adult men, the three _chibi_ always have a higher temperature, especially Yamada is like a walking fire during concerts.

It is not difficult to explain as they get basic energy for living from charging, get more energy to be idol through “love”: the admiration or else possession from their fans, then their fans not just provide mental support but also the actual life support.

When Hey! Say! JUMP debuted, he was 14 years old according to human age, or he was only 3-4 years old in terms of robots.

“Why is he in this group? ” he asked the group manager, “Or should I ask, why can he be here? ”

He didn’t hate Okamoto. Each robot has its own way to evolve even though they basically get the same program and information. He has hated many more robots in his jr. period due to their strange or annoying behaviours gained from unknown sources, but Okamoto was not one of them that he hated despite he lacked skills.

At that time, all he thought was Okamoto was nice, but he would disappear soon as he lacked luck to be noticed and loved; he didn’t intend to offend him, at least his CPU runs smoother with him back then and now.

Kind of same as Nakajima has expected, Okamoto doesn’t get much attention and love even he improves a lot; but also better than he has expected, Okamoto still stays.

“I want to know where we will go once we disappear from the public. ” Nakajima questioned the group manager not long after the first two questions. The manager stopped her works on hand for a few seconds, and walked past him, walked out of the office door.

“Follow me if you want to know.”

He followed her to a large room, the pure-white room existed nowhere and he didn’t notice it before. A studio appeared and the manager said he could check everything through the glass in between.

“We know if he is not noticed or admired by anyone anymore, those robots would vanish like this. ”

“It’s not something simple as ‘disappearance’, actually I rather call it ‘death’ in terms of human. ”

There was a jr. robot he once knew that was disliked by people, Nakajima remembered he just talk with him the day before seeing him in the studio. He was in a complete human shape when they talk, and he was disbanded in different body parts in the studio: the head, the arms and legs, the CPU inside and multiple things he didn’t know.

“Where… will they eventually go to? ” “We produce and reconstruct new boys. ”

“It’s okay as no one really cares where they are already, no one will question about it. ”

Nakajima wasn’t able to reply a single word as he almost stopped functioning seeing that scene, he recalled the memory that the jr.’s body being disassembled was ice cold the day before.

——

Is it due to the season? Winter almost comes and the days start to be cool. Or are there any mistakes from his sensor? His sensors for temperature may goes wrong. But there are no for both questions.

Nakajima finds Okamoto in a small room putting useless stuff, he lays in a sofa and is in sleep mode. But Okamoto switches to normal mode so fast, he wakes up just by hearing the sound; not many things change, at least Okamoto doesn’t look energetic even he wakes up.

He can’t even afford the move of fully opening his eyes, in fact all he does is only waking up and barely opening his eyes: he may get close to Nakajima and talk in his normal situation, but he remains in the sofa and has no movements.

Nakajima realizes he should say something, but some images comes up in his brain that somehow matches Okamoto’s gesture. Okamoto curls up in a crimson sofa inside a dark room, memories of secondary schools’ textbooks pop out and he links the scene in front as the image of a fetus sleeping mother’s womb: not very big and implying the weakness of a being. Except it is a life growing in the latter part, a being somehow seems gradually fading away in the former part.

Like having an electric shock, some unknown things sparkles inside his brain; some liquid should fall from his eyes, or more simply he should cry later.

“Yuto.”

“Manager-san once showed me something, she said I would eventually disappear and disband faster than any other JUMP member. ”

“Have you ever seen the scene when other beings like us are disassembled and reconstructed? I hope you don’t have to and I don’t think you have to. ”

Okamoto finally makes his way to sit up, but he doesn’t lift his head, just talking with no one seeing his face.

“Should I say ‘regrettable’? I can still see fans supporting me in the concerts, but I think the time is coming…? ”

Nakajima kneels to have the same height with sitting Okamoto, grabs the hands in front of him, and he sees Okamoto’s eyes filling with liquid seems like pure salted water, representing the “tears” of actual human. And those hands being grabbed are ice cold.

They are being disassembled and reconstructed many times to be comparatively perfect robots, to get human’s attention and love.

Nakajima long time ago asked what Okamoto Keito is more superior than any other. Why he can be ‘him’ but not changed or constructed to another ‘oneself’, Nakajima even questioned this to himself.

Why Okamoto is still being ‘him’ for all this time even having not much recognition, when others should be made into another appearance and identity already?

However, none of these matters now. Okamoto seems good at crying, Nakajima sometimes thinks, and now he holds Okamoto’s hands and sees him crying like a real human, even the temperature of hands are way too low to be like human.

He should be frostbitten with this temperature if at least one of them is a human being, but he doesn’t release his hands as he foresees a possibility inside his brain that Okamoto may disappear in a second and none of his memory or identity would be left once they release each other.

If robots like him can also have the right to speak anything about ‘love’, if he can have the feeling to ‘love someone’ being non-human, Nakajima can then break the invisible wall exists for a long time which he is struggling of.

None of them knows, nor other JUMP members, the only one know exactly what would happen is the company. Even though they haven’t release each other yet, Okamoto may still disappear tomorrow: he may lose his arms or legs at first, and his CPU will also be cleaned and changed, then all memories and the very identity of “Okamoto Keito” will never, ever exist.

They are only robots ultimately run by 0 and 1, but they learn to have “fear”. They will have “disappearance” or “death” in the simpler sense, even robots have no such word as “death”; Nakajima can kind of experience the fear coming from hollowness and desperation just by imagination of death and figuring out he may be the one who is left behind.

——

However, he put all of this aside for this moment.

He cannot check if Okamoto also set these ideas aside, but all he does is only hugging Okamoto’s cold body while their fingers interlocking each other’s, acts like he can warmer the body and let the creepy coldness goes away.

If he can talk about “love” and “love someone” as a non-human, if his kind of “love” can keep somebody existed even for just a few hours or a day.

“It’s okay, Keito will surely not disappear.”

“I won’t let you disappear in this way. ”

All they need to be “alive” is have enough love.

—End—

**Author's Note:**

> Emmm… I know I can't write.  
> Thank you very much for reading.


End file.
